It SUCKS when You’re SPAMMED By Your OWN Host!!

FINALLY REMOVED “SNAP SHOTS” CRAP FROM MY BLOG!!! IT WAS NEITHER REQUESTED NOR WANTED BY ME!! (AT LEAST I HOPE IT’S GONE. I CAN’T SEE IT TAKIN UP MY WHOLE CELL PHONE SCREEN WHILE SIGNED IN NOW.) IT SAYS IN THEIR HELP SECTION THAT THEY DID THIS TO EVERYONE!!! IF UNREQUESTED ADDITIONS TO YOUR BLOG PAGE PISS YOU OFF TOO, LET EM KNOW! I DEFINITELY DID! I URGE ALL OF YOU TO DO THE SAME!

2 Ladies Talking In Heaven

Two Ladies Talking in Heaven 1st woman: Hi! Wanda. 2nd woman: Hi! Sylvia. How’d you die? 1st woman: I froze to death. 2nd woman: How horrible! 1st woman: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm ‘sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? 2nd woman: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. 1st woman: So, what happened? 2nd woman: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just kneeled over with a heart attack and died. 1st woman: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer—we’d BOTH still be alive!

TO MAKE YOU SMILE!

Found these HILLARIOUS tips on maintaining healthy sense of INSANITY on a “Hub Page” by someone named “G-Ma”: To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With
Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer
At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t DisguiseYour Voice. ! 3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks .
Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions,
Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Cheques, Write ‘ For Marijuana’ 6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.. 7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.. 8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is ‘To Go’.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream ‘I Won! I Won!’ 12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’
13. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,
‘Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.’ And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
14. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS. If YOU enjoyed these AS MUCH as I did, Please Re-post Them For OTHERS 2 smile.(Please give credit to “G-Ma”.) Thx.

Happy 4th of July!!! Please Be SAFE!

NOoooo, “Ociffer”… I aint had a “THuckin Fing” to drink Yet!? WHY!? Happy 4th Of July! ENJOY & PLEASE BE SAFE!

8.8 Chilean Eathquake!

Hi Frank. This is your good friend The Jackal letting you know there is a major earthquake in Chile this morning. At 3:30 they had an 8.8 magnitude earthquake tsunami following afterwards.

I sent this email using my voice. Listen to it here: http://dial2do.com/1ygmb9e4

Life Is FUNNY Like That

Hey all. Your friendly neighborhood Jackal, here.
Ya know; In my ALL OUT WAR on SPAM, and the LOSERS who FLOOD us with
it, I have become VERY JADED! So much so, that I ALMOST deprived
MYSELF of some EXCELLENT new readers and with any LUCK, hopefully
GOOD NEW FRIENDS. Life is FUNNY like that.

I woke up this morning, and as per the daily RITUAL, checked emails, Twitter
Direct Messages, @ Replies, New Follows, Etc. I use a Profile Validation Service to
initially screen REAL new follows from SPAM BOTS. This ISN’T perfect, because a
SPAMMER only has to REGISTER for the service THEMSELVES, and are then
EXEMPT from the CAPTCHA requirement of OTHERS. Life is FUNNY like that.

I HATE deciphering those things as much as everyone else.(I run EVERYTHING
from a Motorola i465 Clutch with a 128×160 pxl screen!) However, I DON’T agree
with EXEMPTING service users from OTHERS captchas for the aforementioned
LOOPHOLE.

So, I’m checking Through the NEW FOLLWERS list, and I come across @Keith_Humphrey. The validation report, Emailed to me, Stated that he passed validation and is now following my updates. Like I SAID, The war on spam has made me VERY jaded, so I ALWAYS check em out MYSELF anyway. Life is FUNNY like that.

As I’m reading down his timeline FULL of RETWEETS and FOLLOW FRIDAY
style posts,(today is WEDNESDAY) I’m thinkin to myself, Yeah, This SOB thinks
he’s SLICK disguising his spam with all this. Spammers are USING this tactic more
and more to get under the radar! So of course, MY RADAR was going crazy! As I
got down to his PROFILE and read the DETAILS, I’m thinkin all these things he
says about himself, but lives in KANSAS? BLOCK button HERE I COME!

But, I’m a little MORE THOROUGH than that. Call it my OCD for finding out
ALL the story. Life is FUNNY like that. So, I check out his BLOG, which he linked
to in his profile. It took a minute for it to load in my phone;(his ENTRIES are
somewhat LENGTHY, Like MINE is TODAY) I could NOT have been MORE
SHOCKED! Keith is NOT ONLY a REAL person and NOT A SPAMMER, but has
led a VERY interesting life, and SURVIVED a REALLY SHITTY childhood!

After reading his blog, I was EXTREMELY GLAD that I HADN’T BLOCKED
him! Had I NOT taken the time to DIG DEEPER, I would have blocked him,
encouraged MANY OTHERS to do the same and Twitter POSSIBLY
SUSPENDING the account of an INSIGHTFUL and DECENT person, who we
could ALL learn a few things FROM! Life is FUNNY like that!

Of COURSE, I followed this INCREDIBLE human being BACK, and felt MOST
FORTUNATE for the PRIVILEDGE of doing so, thanks to Social Media Vehicles,
such as Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, etc. Were it NOT for these media, Someone
like ME would NEVER have the OPPORTUNITY to MEET people like HIM! Life
is FUNNY like that.

I HAVEN’T sent him a Simple THANKS for FOLLOWING DM, because it
seemed NOWHERE near ADEQUATE to explain this story to him in 140
CHARACTERS or LESS! I’m SURE, After READING this, you”ll ALL AGREE.
While this self Spearheaded WAR ON SPAM has jaded me, I THANKFULLY,
have NOT YET let it SNUFF OUT my SOUL and DESIRE to know the WHOLE
STORY, for If I HAD, I’d have MISSED out on 1 of the BEST new readers in this
little FAMILY! LIFE IS FUNNY LIKE THAT!

PLEASE, think and DARE to DIG into YOUR new follows and friends etc.
BEFORE you BLOCK. This ALSO applies to OTHER AREAS in LIFE as well.
SOMETIMES the Rabbit Hole goes MUCH DEEPER, and the ONLY way you’ll
KNOW for SURE is to DIVE in and CHECK! Because, Life is FUNNY like that.

And By The Way, to Keith Humphrey, If YOU’RE reading THIS, THANKS for FOLLOWING. I followed you back! Sicerely, The Jackal

An Attempted Mugging In Savannah

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night
Before last./*

Date: 2009-07-27, 1:43 A M EST.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you
Demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on
Me and my girlfriend threatening our lives. You also asked for
My girlfriend’s purse and earrings. I can only hope that you
Somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I’d like to apologize for your embarrassment, I didn’t
Expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol
After you took my jacket. The evening was not that cold, and I
Was wearing the jacket for a reason.

My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP
Pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster
For it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very
Intimidating weapon when pointed at your head … Isn’t it!

I know it probably wasn’t fun walking back to wherever you’d
Come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I’m sure it was
Even worse walking bare footed since I made you leave your
Shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from
Calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother, or “Momma” as you had her listed in
Your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you’d done.
Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as four other
people’s in the gas station on your credit card. The guy with
The big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeles s guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go’s,
Along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!] I
Then threw your wallet into the big pink “pimp mobile” that was
Parked at the curb… After I broke the windshield and side
Window and keyed the entire driver’s side of the car.

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell
Phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used
The phone for a little over a day now, so what’s going on with
That? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls
To the DA’s office and one to the FBI, while mentioning
President Obama as my possible target. The FBI guy seemed really
Intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced
Your number etc.).

In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you … But
I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate
Punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try
To sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues,
And can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon,
And perhaps reconsider the career path you’ve chosen to pursue
In life.

Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.

Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,
Alex

P.S. Remember this motto…

An armed society makes for a more civil
Society!

The Life Of A Hyena by The Jackal

Let me spin you all a tale of Daring Do!
This is a story about a HERO. Let’s call him Mr. Hyena. 8-D As in MOST tales,

there’s an EEEEVIL VILLIAN! Let’s call Her Ms. Sherry Buzzard.

Mr. Hyena, spends his days trying to HELP and LOOK OUT for the OTHER

animals in the wild. Ms. Buzzard, spends HER time, PREYING on the

DESPERATION of ALL the other animals to FATTEN her OWN belly.

NATURALLY, our HERO aint down with PREDATORS like her, and tried to warn

and PROTECT them from her.

Of course, she DIDN’T like this, and so, TRIED to INFECT Mr. Hyena with a

DEADLY VIRUS! AAHHHhh, but OUR hero is NOT so EASILY KILLED; as a

GOOD HERO shouldn’t be! FAR more CUNNING than Ms.BUZZARD, Mr. Hyena

TRACED the attack BACK to her and INFECTED HER with her OWN VIRUS!;-D

Of course, like MOST villains, Ms. Buzzard has MANY LIVES, and will

EVENTUALLY try AGAIN. But for TONIGHT, the other animals of the wild could

sleep A LITTLE BETTER, knowing that Mr. Hyena was LOOKING OUT for them,

and would NOT die in the water like Ms. Buzzard HOPED.

The MORAL of the STORY…..DON’T try to INFECT a HYENA with a VIRUS,

because, when ATTACKED, A HYENA will RUTHLESSLY DEFEND ITSELF and

take a BIG BITE out of it’s ATTACKER! ;-D

So, Boys and Girls; Did everyone ENJOY my STORY? I know I LOVED

WRITING it! The Jackal’s a SUCKER for STORIES with a HAPPY ending! Till

the next story kids, The JACKAL
*The preceding STORY is a work of PUUURE FICTION and ANY similarities to

PEOPLE and EVENTS; real or fictional is of course, ABSOLUTELY,

POOOSITIVELY coincidental and unintentional.* ;-D

Today’s Topic: Twitter’s Vulnerability

Can someone please tell me why it is that OTHER APPS AND HACKERS can control twitter but twitter can’t seem to keep any control of it’s OWN SITE and keep it up and running?! If you’re like me, you’re sick and trired of the B.S. Twitter’s a nice app WHEN IT’S ACTUALLY WORKING. But when something ONLY works A COUPLE OF DAYS A WEEK, it simply isn’t WORTH IT! And Twitter’s FREE! However, when you’re a WORLDWIDE POPULAR SOCIAL MEDIA NETWORK, you should @ least be able to keep your SITE and SERVICE up under HEAVY TRAFFIC.

Perhaps, IF ENOUGH OF US COMPLAIN TO TWITTER, they’ll FINALLY UPGRADE those SERVERS to handle heavy enough flow that hackers IN THE FUTURE, wont be ABLE to exploit Twitter and INCONVENIENCE half the world.
TJM

SPAM USERNAME LIST

Please Submit YOUR SPAM OFFENDERS HERE under comments. From there Myself or 1 of the other members of the #GCSF (Global Coalition of Spam Fighters) will investigate spammer Profile /info, Organize Names Into Lists & And Submit entire Up2Date List2Twttr.TJM